I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I got inside last night via doggy door
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
