Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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