I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
