Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
