What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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