Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
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