imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize