you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize