I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
