he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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