no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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