Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
