conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize