turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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