I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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