Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
