U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
