guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
