the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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