Where is the hickey?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
