I forgot how hot balto sounded
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
