Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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