So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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