I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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