we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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