thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
