so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
