Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
