watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My vagina just clenched in fear
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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