It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
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Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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