i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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