So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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