Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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