you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
