You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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