john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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