So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
