BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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