a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
