HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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