I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
