My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it fun? or sober?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
