did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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