I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
