I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
