i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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