if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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