ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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