she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
