I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
