I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize