A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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