okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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