WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
