Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
