all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
