It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
youre lurking in front of me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
