When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
