Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
