my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
